| i used to think that i had forgiven myself for my past, that i had
moved on, that i would no longer let it bother me. i guess i was wrong.
my past came back to bite me in the ass last night. i dont think ive
had such a terrible nights sleep. sometimes i wish i could go back an
erase it. live it over again do things differently. i know that sounds
like i regret somehting and maybe i do. i hate looking back on certain
events and i get so angry asking myself why did i do and why didint i
do that or this or whatever it may have been. sure the bullshit back
then may have helped form me today but it just feels like its haunting
me. i dnt feel like talking whenever i close my eyes i see glimpse of
it and last night i kept having these flashback dreams. i just wanna
say fuck the bullshit, and not blame myself for it. i know there are
somethings i didnt have control of but it doesnt mean that i dnt feel
like shit about it. its funny cuz i said i wouldnt end up the way some
of my fam did when they were in high school but for part of my time in
high school i became exactly that.if only those unfortunate events
would find their way out of my mind...
|
| |
| yeah i wrote this poem today its pretty sad it kinda flows with this
sage francis beat for the song sea lion. so yea comments props until
next time -1- godbless
she wrote his confessions in a vertical line up and down her wrist
so much to say so much to write red ink flowed down her fist
the pain in her eyes the sound of her cries askin herself WHY
why the abuse why the anger why the deciete why all of his lies
he had broken her heart broken her soul started a fight and bruised her eye
She took the abuse took the pain and stayed by his side
He was over controlling over possessive made sure she had her place
so she became his possession doing all that he said
He told her he loved her never would leave her in between the fights
and so she believed him never deceived him and always appeased him
and she loved him so much that when he cheated she didnt believe it
but then she caught him she thought he loved her it was all a lie
she went back home went to her room and closed her door
she pulled out the blade tears on her face all she felt was pain
she rolled up her sleeves fell to knees and made sure that she cut deep
the pain in her eyes the sound of her cries left no wonder why
she didnt wanna live she wanted to die so she closed her eyes
she layed so quietly layed so peacefully the pain was nomore
while all of his sins all his anger all his lies flowed to the floor |
| |
| hello peoples and not those not so human. i just wanted to take this time to say thanks to my friends, i know that with time weve changed but it doesnt mean that we all cant stay tight. i love you guys and i just hope that we can always make the efforts to stay cool as hell with each other and always be able to hang out and what not. ummm neway yea oscars and carlos's bdays are this month pretty soon actually soo happy bday to them and i hope that they get what they want. so yeah... well school has started ive had a rough start ive been sooo lazy not that ive had a lot of work but i get home and dont feel like doing nething haha still adjusting to it but it been good my objective this yr is to be more social n what not and of course to be gettin dem A's (especially in english class) so yeah lots have been goin on for me school family getting ready for the return of Anais, and the many bdays coming up so yeah this fall should be dope. anyway peace and love yall -1- and god bless
BTW new song by dashboard confessional (hands down) its so dope peace -1-
|
| |
| BAH! schools in hopefully this yr will be cool and yea. i just cant wait til october THE FALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  got a new song up its dope as fish... ewww, neway yea cred to carlos for the song cuz it holds sentimental value to me so peace out yall -1- godbless |
| |
|  summer is almost officially over. i just like this face
|
| |
